Flinch Of The North Star

What a waste of 1 hour 32 minutes. Well, actually just an hour, as I skipped through certain sections. Whats he talking about you wonder?.... The '95, live action, American production of Fist Of The North Star. Absolutly gutted. What a massive opurtunity wasted.
You see, I was always a fan of the original, Japanese OAV from '85. When Manga Video released it over here in the early 90's it was one of my most favourtie anime's. I then worked back to the original Anime series and the Manga collections. What was not to like? Fighting, cool martial arts, tons of gore, post-apocalyptic setting. Just awesome. The original OAV condensed the long running series into a 90 minute animated movie. Which was well done.
Now I remember hearing about this movie while it was in production. And at the time thought, cool! I look forward to seeing that.

GOOD
If only I knew then what I know now. The film is a complete turkey. First of Gary Daniels, as Kenshiro. He might look the part somewhat, but his sub- ( and I mean Hunt For Red October sub) man -with-no-name routine is terrible. The actual fighting is somewhat well done. But ina world where he can make peoples heads and bodies fly apart and explode, the live-action working of this technique looks so comical. Just some prosphetic/mechanical bulge on the enemies body then you don't see the actual death. Whats more horrible is the actual enviroment. it all takes place on sound stages, in studio's. So the nuclear-ravaged landscape looks like a Dr Who set.

BAD
The acting is worse than the voice acting in the original dub. Lots of liberties taken with characters and the enviroment. Jagi is now Jackel, and played by Chris Penn, in a completly hammed up way. But worse of all is Malcolm Macdowell. As Ryuken. What a waste of talent. He also acts as narrator so you don't have to think about anything really. Tracey Walters and Melvin Van Peebles also die on there arse. Absolutly gutted.
Despite wasting my time watching that, I did go to the car auction and am now the proud owner of some new wheels. ROCK ON! A 8 year old, Rover. 2.5 litre, Turbo Diesel. Go's like the clappers and looks sweet. Lets see how long this lasts us eh?
So what has been rocking Olivers stereo.........Nowt really.
Except the lovely sounds of Warning, Harkonen and Asva.
All I need now is the love of a good ( or just any) women and I am set to go.